Guard your Thoughts . . . and your Words!

By: Mary Wilkey

Both are things, you know—your thoughts and your words.

It may seem a nearly impossible task to take control of your thoughts, as they seem to run rampant throughout your waking hours.

It’s a matter of changing habit. And although simple, it isn’t exactly easy.

Let me give you an example.

Most of us are totally undisciplined and let our thoughts roam hither and yon, willy-nilly.

During the course of a day, we may find ourselves way back in the past, far into the future, or just overwhelmed with the present. And there seems to be no pattern, just a stream of undirected consciousness floating all over the place.

To change this drifting in uncharted directions, we have to set definite goals. At first, we have to do this hour by hour. And I’ve found a simple kitchen timer is very helpful to discipline oneself.

Get into the habit of setting small goals every hour. For example, within the next hour I’m going to finish this issue. If I don’t, it’s no catastrophe, but it’s something to shoot for; however, I set the timer for 30 minutes, not an hour.

At that point I will get up from my chair, stretch, and do a few little exercises, just to get my blood going, take some deep breaths to get more oxygen into my blood, and then my brain is refreshed and ready to resume.

After that hour is over, stop what you are doing and focus all your attention on changing how you think. This is what prayer is all about—getting results—and to do that you have to spend some time with God, even if it’s only a few minutes.

You have to shut the world out and go within. This is not easy—anything worthwhile never is.

It takes twenty-one days to establish a habit, so you have to exercise your willpower to hang in there. Ask our Lord for His help and strength to get you through to the point that going within to change your thought patterns becomes second nature.

The more time you spend doing this, the sooner it will become a habit, just as regular as your morning grooming ritual.

The more you practice this, you will find that it will become a high point in your day to look forward to with enthusiasm and passion . . . and your level of stress will automatically fall.

The Bible says, ” . . . bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Just as important as guarding your thoughts is guarding your words.

“Words are like little spiritual containers,” I heard Creflo Dollar say this morning.

Consider the fact that, in the beginning, nothing came into being without having been spoken. Words are everything.

We are to call things that are not as if they are, and doing so will bring manifestation, either instantly or gradually, depending upon your level of belief.

We also will be called to account for all our idle words, as Jesus said in Matthew 12:36-37 — ” . . . every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.”

So never ever speak anything or any condition that you do not wish to see manifest in your life. For example, don’t ever tell a child that he is stupid or that he will never amount to anything.

And never say, “I am afraid that this or that will happen,” for you are creating that very condition and being receptive to it.

Always phrase your statements in a positive tone and expect good results. And t-h-i-n-k before you speak!

About the Author

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Respect Versus Ridicule – Giving Feedback That Builds Up Rather Than Tears Down People

By: Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach

Your intention is to motivate a child or employee to do better. You are clear in your mind what you want to achieve and the behavior that you want changed. You expect to be listened to and obeyed! You are right and they are wrong. Someday, they will be grateful that you cared enough to show them what they were doing incorrectly. The only “right way” is “my way.” 

Sound familiar? When a situation calls for feedback, we tend to justify our position and come at the situation from a power standpoint. This tends to put the other person in a defensive status and what may have started out as a visit turns into a confrontation, with words and emotions expressed that are not helpful. 

 Criticism is Hurtful 

 Ridiculing someone is to mock by making fun or dismissing them in a contemptuous way. Sometimes the ridicule may be verbal as in a criticism; “You just can’t get this through your thick head, can you?” The disrespect may be done in a completely non-verbal but powerful way; rolling your eyes, crossing your arms and leaning back, smirking or looking away when the other person is talking. 

 Feedback is Helpful 

 Feedback is intended to provide helpful information for future decisions and development. If you feel that you need to offer pointers on how something should be done, first ask if they would like feedback. If it is offered without judgment or personal attacks, most people will welcome, or at least receive it. 

 Using the old sales jargon, you can sell any idea without making the recipient feel badly. “I know you feel that it was a hard assignment. I have felt that way when I was asked to do something for the first time and I didn’t understand the instructions. However, I found that when I went back and read the instructions or ask for an explanation, it was much easier and I was able to understand what the boss wanted and was able to do it. 

What’s Right, Not What’s Wrong 

 If you want positive behavior with your family, co workers and friends, encourage what is good and downplay what is wrong or unacceptable. When you focus on something, right or wrong, you will get more of it. It is called the Law of Attraction. 

 Verbal vs Non-Verbal Language  

 Verbal or spoken language is the communication of information. Most people only remember about 20% of what is said. Non verbal or body language is the communication of relationships. People look at your facial expressions to see how you really feel about what you are saying and the person you are saying it to. They listen to your tone of voice to gauge how sincere you are. 

If others perceive that you are standing in judgment of them, they will be much less likely to be co-operative and be open to suggestions. When you feel that you must offer feedback, touch them lightly on the back or arm to get their attention, look them in the eye and then ask for permission to share your ideas. 

 Mutual respect is foundation of strong, healthy relationships 

 As you work with your relationships, you will see that criticism and ridicule does not give you the positive results you were hoping for. Respect, encouragment and kind feedback is much more effective at motivating people and projects than criticism and ridicule. 

Never Just One Way To Do Things
Before you jump in with an opinion, perhaps it is best to remember there is never just one way to do anything. Every problem or situation has at least five different ways to get it done. Are you absolutely sure that your way is best? 

 About the Author (c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You. 

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813. 

You are also invited to visit our blog at http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you. 

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults. 

(ArticlesBase SC #750025) 

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